“Look, Doc, I spent last Tuesday watching fibers on my carpet. And the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying that I, I might vomit. And the whole time, I was thinking, “I’m a grown man. I should know what goes on my head.” And the more I thought about it… the more I realized that I should just blow my brains out and end it all. But then I thought, well, if I thought more about blowing my brains out… I start worrying about what that was going to do to my goddamn carpet. Okay, so, ah-he, that was a GOOD day, Doc. And, and I just want you to give me some pills and let me get on with my life.”
Movies
#140RVW: Cars (2006)
“Punch me, Guido! Punch me in the face! This is the most glorious day of my life!”
#140RVW: Doc Hollywood (1991)
“When to call me: you’ve been stabbed, shot, poisoned, separated from an appendage, knocked or beaten unconscious, run over by a tractor mower, or generally about to bleed to death. Otherwise, leave me alone.”
Office Space (1999)
“So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.”
#140RVW: Eagle Vs. Shark (2007)
“I have two things to say. One: I am leaving tomorrow on a bus. Two: that could change.”