Dark Dungeons: The Movie (2014)

Dungeons & Dragons turned 40 years old in January of this year (2014). In recognition, we are rebranding our site for one week to Now Very Beholder… and focusing just on the films that star or in some way revolve around D&D.

140 Character Movie Review – #140RVW

Live-action short film version of the completely ridiculous scare-mongering comic pamphlet of the same name should be funny, but it isn’t…

Spoiler-free Movie Review of Dark Dungeons: The Movie:

Occasionally I read about projects that are seemingly perfect, only to be underwhelmed by the result. I wholly applaud this idea and the effort that went into it. I just really didn’t enjoy it at all.

Dark Dungeons was an alarmist comic strip put out in 1984 by an evangelical nutjob whose name I won’t repeat because I’d hate for even one person to increase his web traffic. His company puts out “tracts”, series of pamplets, often in comic form that are the ideological and well-reasoned equivalent of the guy walking through the train station screaming at the top of his lungs about going to hell. It’s probably genuinely intended to help people but as well-meaning as it may be, it’s hateful, ignorant stuff that generally gives respectful Christians a bad name.

In 1984 Dungeons & Dragons was white hot and wackos everywhere were getting concerned that this stuff was satanic and dangerous. I eagerly look forward to a time when all right-thinking people will be able to look back on this type of propaganda and see it for the shameful fear-mongering rubbish that it is.

So on paper, the idea of doing a satire based on this material seems to be a surefire hit. This is ripe for spoofing. But I’m sorry to say that as much as I wanted to enjoy Dark Dungeons: The Movie I found it joyless and tiresome – even at only 40 minutes.

It just isn’t funny. I may have completely missed the tone they were going for here, and if so, hey, my bad. I thought this was supposed to be a send-up. Maybe I misunderstood – they may have been playing it completely straight so you could see for yourself how ridiculous these fears are. And if that’s the case – nailed it. Because it’s really well done. The production quality is great for the short money they spent and just succeeding in making a film for so little cash is impressive. But it sure seemed to be marketed as a comedy – every piece I read talked about how funny it was.

Also, isn’t going after a 30 year old bit of trash a little like making Richard Nixon jokes? It is possible to turn the lens on an ancient stupidity well after the fact (see Life of Brian or Cradle Will Rock) but middle distances are much harder and unless there is a modern allegory you had better have a very sharp pencil to make it work.

I really wanted to like a picture with such a great premise, that of sticking it to ignorant people by using their own words against them. Sadly, I couldn’t get behind the execution. The film is so faithful to the original work that they received permission for this adaptation. When the people you’re trying to insult are perfectly happy with what you’re doing, who’s getting the last laugh? Spewing out hateful doggerel verbatim for 40 minutes simply did not achieve a sense of amusement or satirize the original work. It just grated. Go watch Mazes & Monsters instead…

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test & The Representation Test Score:

I’m not doing these for this thing; it fails automatically based on the source material.