#140RVW
Temple of Doom is a terrible movie, nearly as bad as Raiders was good. I keep trying to find things to like about it & failing miserably…
What’s more:
There are people who consider this the best Indiana Jones film. I have absolutely no idea what they are watching when they see this. Maybe there’s another movie called Temple of Doom that isn’t dreadful. I do know that there are fan edits of this movie – maybe that’s what they are referring to. I have one by InfoDroid that removes all of the slapstick, monkey brains and the music number (which I actually sort of like), providing an 18 minute haircut. The thing is, I still haven’t watched it yet, even though it’s been years since I acquired it. Why? Because I’d still have to watch the other 100 minutes of the movie and I have a very hard time queuing up Indy 2. It’s just so bad.
I only watched the original film again now because today is the 30th anniversary of the release of the film and I thought I should revisit it. As a result, I’m watching the Indy movies with my daughter for the first time. I thought about skipping this one with her. After all, having just seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, why should she be grossed out and disappointed as I was 30 years ago? But ultimately I felt that I wouldn’t be doing my job as a parent if I sheltered her from all of the heartbreaks in life. She’ll need to learn to be snarky and derisive just like me…
She is now the same age I was when we filed into the Cleveland Circle Cinema in Brookline, MA thirty years ago, full of excitement at seeing the continuing adventures of Dr. Jones. The best thing that happened that night is that my parents bought me the official movie program, which I’m sad to say I let go of in a yard sale. (That is, I’m sorry I sold my Return of the Jedi program; I’m quite ok with divesting myself of the souvenir from this one…) I desperately miss those souvenir programs for big tentpole movies. Why did they ever stop making those? If they truly want to make theatrical presentations of movies events again, this might be one way to help.
The worst thing that happened that night is that they screened Temple of Doom. I vividly remember freaking out with everyone else in the theater at how gruesome it was. My folks were disgusted and spent the walk back to the car wondering why the film wasn’t given an R rating. In retrospect, it’s not really that much more grisly than the first film; the main difference may be how cruel and mean-spirited the sequel feels. Spielberg has always reveled in his ability to scare and gross out his audience, but it’s clearly understood that he’s trying to elicit fun house ride reactions that we all secretly crave. The violence in this one is more like an older kid deliberately scaring a pre-schooler by locking them in a trunk with an animal.
Want proof that they were on the wrong track with this movie? Lawrence Kasdan, who wrote such an amazing script for the first film, didn’t want any part of it. He took one look at the story and decided he didn’t even want to be associated with such a horrible and mean picture, calling it “very ugly and mean-spirited”.
As is often the case with second outings in the music world, just about anything good about the sophomore effort was unused material from the first. The minecart chase, the scenes in Shanghai, the plane escape – these were all written for Raiders.
The movie is truly awful and gets worse every time I revisit it. (Paradoxically, it looks better than ever – the restoration is fantastic and the blu-ray is gorgeous. Typical.)
Play by play (random thoughts while suffering through the movie):
Alright, here we go (stay frosty):
- Growing up, I had no idea that this was a prequel. (Takes place in 1935; Raiders is 1936) I don’t know if they didn’t make that obvious or if I was just too young to pay attention to that sort of thing. I don’t think I was aware of the fact until well into adulthood.
- I actually like the musical number. It’s good for setting the tone for the time period. It is the only thing Kate Capshaw does well in this movie. The ONLY thing…
- Willie Scott is the worst character ever developed by Lucas. Yes, I’m including Jar Jar…
- Actually, I suspect the only reason for Capshaw in this is that Spielberg was allegedly pursuing a liaison with her – not sure if real or implied, but if you watch the behind-the-scenes footage on this it’s sickening – like watching a septuagenarian play footsie with a co-ed.
- Club Obi Wan. Funny…
- Short Round. Hmm…
- 1935 Shanghai is a great location for adventure – should have stayed there for the whole film…
- Aykroyd – interesting cameo.
- I love Indy changing from tuxedo to his usual rags. Yeah, that’s what I usually do when starting a transcontinental flight.
- The blu-ray really looks great – fantastic job.
- Bad blue-screen when they take the raft out of the plane crash. Wait, they take a raft out of a plane crash? I withdraw my first complaint.
- Now we’re in India, and that’s a big part of the problem, frankly. Just doesn’t make for a good setting.
- And the tone is all wrong. If they wanted to make a prequel, Indy should be a different character, but he isn’t. There’s nothing new here.
- There are nice touches early in the film of Indy showing his education. Too few and too infrequent.
- So the Macguffin is a stone? Or is it the children? I’m already confused, and I’ve seen this dozens of times.
- “Biggest trouble with her is the noise.”
- I love that Short Round cheats at poker…
- The dining scene is so unbelievably offensive, even in this movie, which already set new standards for cultural insensitivity. How did this ever get approved?
- Bedroom scene: my daughter just turned to me and said “that’s the worst flirting ever”. Well spotted, kiddo…
- Even before the heart-ripping out scene, this definitely earned the criticism that it was far too violent for a PG movie. I think it’s funny that this movie reportedly was single-handedly responsible for the creation of the PG-13 rating, yet they didn’t go back and apply the new rating to the film.
- Sigh – Spielberg grossing you out and stuff jumping out at people. Grow up, son…
- See, it’s not that this whole cult in India storyline is so poor (although it is), it’s that this is one of only 3 (technically 4) Indy movies. If this were simply a novel or comic, it would be just another chapter in the adventures of Indiana Jones. Since it’s a movie, it has to be a really great chapter. And it ain’t…
- Did I already say bad blue-screen in this movie? Bad blue-screen in this movie…
- Why is this movie so dark? Reportedly because George Lucas was in the middle of getting divorced when his wife left him for another guy. When Uncle George gets sad, hearts get ripped out. Metaphor much?
- So Spielberg, sensing that this was all getting a bit heavy, would try to lighten the mood in the only way he knew how, with slapstick and cheap gross-out jokes. That’s why this thing is so wildly uneven tone-wise.
- I think this movie exists solely to make The Crystal Skull look better by comparison…
- Remind me again, why is it ok to use makeup to cast white actors as Indian but not to use blackface?
- I wonder if Spielberg would have been ok with it if Lucas had made the cultists Israeli and all talk in exaggerated Shylock mannerisms?
- The whole voodoo doll thing is seriously over-egging the pudding. It’s just too much…
- I think Short Round punches out more people than Indy does. Also, it seems like Indy only uses his whip a few times in the whole picture.
- Once you know that Ford herniated his back during shooting and that tons of the work including virtually everything under the palace was done by stuntman Vic Armstrong, it’s kind of hard to un-see it. The whole mine cart sequence, which was one of the few highlights of the movie as a kid, is so obviously miniatures that it’s completely ruined for me (and now you…you’re welcome.)
- With Indy’s feet smoking, they just came a whip’s length from pulling a Yosemite Sam “My biscuits are burnin’!”
- This villain isn’t exactly Shakespearean material…
- Thank goodness for the English-led Indians, taking care of these savages, what?
- By my reckoning, there should still be some 500-700 Thuggees left after the climax of the film. What gives?
Poster:
Trailer:
Bechdel Test:
Fail
The Representation Test Score: F (0 pts)
(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)
| Main Cast | Harrison Ford Indiana Jones, Kate Capshaw Willie Scott, Jonathan Ke Quan (as Ke Huy Quan) Short Round, Amrish Puri Mola Ram |
| Rating | PG |
| Release Date | Wed 23 May 1984 UTC |
| Director | Steven Spielberg |
| Genres | Action, Adventure |
| Plot | After arriving in India, Indiana Jones is asked by a desperate village to find a mystical stone. He agrees, and stumbles upon a secret cult plotting a terrible plan in the catacombs of an ancient palace. |
| Poster |  |
| Runtime | 118 |
| Tagline | If adventure has a name… it must be Indiana Jones. |
| Writers | Willard Huyck (screenplay) &, Gloria Katz (screenplay) … |
| Year | 1984 |
