140 Character Movie Review – #140RVW
Can someone please wake me when the 3D CGI movie boom is over? This movie sucked. I know I’m usually more political than that, but it did…
Alternate 140 Character Movie Review – #140RVW
A lesser writer would make some crack that it’s a standard soulless 3D CG action/fantasy in a magic bean; just add water. Yep, that works…
Spoiler-free Movie Review of Jack the Giant Slayer:
When Jack the Giant Slayer opens, it is with interspersed scenes of main characters Jack & Princess Isabelle as children, excitedly listening to the same bedtime story from opposite ends of the kingdom. The tale of King Erik, who defeated an entire army of giants, fascinates the children in the best scene from the movies. It is so well written, filmed and edited that it raised my expectations for the film. Would that it had not.
Because from the start, I knew exactly what this thing was going to be, although I hoped it might outplay its potential. From the initial trailers, this looked to be the sort of CG-infested fantasy film the likes of which are all too familiar these days. But I had hopes for more based largely on the talent involved and the perceived fun tone. I give a little more leash to family friendly adventures that don’t take themselves too seriously.
Sadly, while the movie is for the most part true to that spirit of adventure, it tries for epic at the same time and lands uncomfortably somewhere in between.
The updated telling of Jack and the Beanstalk leaves virtually nothing of the tale intact. Jack (Nicholas Hoult) does indeed get sent to town to sell his cow (actually, it’s a horse in this version, so that isn’t even the same) and comes away with magic beans, but even that is less the action of a simpleton and more a framing device for a complicated plot. It seems that these beans were stolen from the grave of King Erik by Lord Roderick (a moustache twisting Stanley Tucci, who must really be tired of these roles) so that he can rule the realm or something. (I’m giving nothing away here – it’s all laid out within 10 minutes).
Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson), who is not allowed to be a person because she’s required to be a Disney princess by her father, King Brahmwell (Ian McShane in not to be believed outlandish costumes), who wants her to marry Roderick. So she constantly acts out and explores, leading to her meet cute in the town with Jack. And then another meet cute when she runs off a second time in the first 15 minutes and ends up at his house seeking shelter from a rainstorm. (This film doesn’t believe in doing anything once if it can do it twice.)
Said rainstorm causes magic bean to sprout massive beanstalk which sends the Princess up to the land of poor CG. Jack will need to rescue her, helped by Elmont, Captain of the King’s Guard (Ewan McGregor), and his number 2, Crawe (Eddie Marsan). Hindering them will be Roderick & his toady Wicke (Ewen Bremner). The movie doesn’t totally know what to do with Elmont, saddling him with heroism and humor in equal parts. That’s fine, but the humor seems to be taking him down a peg for being a pompous hero, then celebrating his pompous heroism in the next moment.
All of this up to this point is flawed but ok. No, the trouble comes as soon as we meet the giants. Yes, plural. There are tons of them. Again, not a problem in of itself, except that these giants hail from the (sadly not lost) land of poor character design. The problem isn’t the motion capture or even the CG itself (though it’s pretty poor), it’s the all too familiar decision to make them all “interesting” and different creatures. So some will be funny and some will be menacing and they all will have easily identifiable features because someone with unwarranted optimism thought they might be able to make action figures out of them if the movie became a hit. (Since every movie since Star Wars has mistakenly thought this would work, I’m going to call it the Kenner Effect.)
King of the heap must be Fallon, a two-headed giant who’s sort of the leader. This two-headed thing is not only pointless and ridiculous; it actually marks the moment that the movie crosses the line into cartoon and becomes untenable. One of the heads, the only one that does any real talking, is over-acted by Bill Nighy. His performance is aimed at the two people who found his work in Pirates of the Caribbean too subtle. I love the good roles Nighy has turned in, but the poor ones are staring to cancel out any goodwill he’s fostered.
It all just descends into CG tomfoolery from that point on.
There just isn’t much loveable about the movie. It gets the tone wrong and is full of discrepancies, particularly in the makeup of the characters. Jack is never really anything but a hero – he starts off too strong to ever have any type of arc. Princess Isabelle seems like she’s going to be an actual character, but quickly becomes a damsel in distress. It’s really disheartening.
Most disappointing, though, is how many talented people went into making this weak of a film. In addition to Singer and all of the actors, DP Newton Thomas Sigel’s talents are completely wasted on 3D digital cameras. The movie looks awful and that’s too bad. It really is a missed opportunity.
Poster:
Trailer:
Bechdel Test:
Fail
The Representation Test Score: D (3 pts)
(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)
| Main Cast | Nicholas Hoult Jack, Stanley Tucci Roderick, Ewan McGregor Elmont, Bill Nighy General Fallon |
| Rating | PG-13 |
| Release Date | Fri 01 Mar 2013 UTC |
| Director | Bryan Singer |
| Genres | Adventure, Fantasy |
| Plot | The ancient war between humans and a race of giants is reignited when Jack, a young farmhand fighting for a kingdom and the love of a princess, opens a gateway between the two worlds. |
| Poster |  |
| Runtime | 114 |
| Tagline | If you think you know the story, you don’t know Jack. |
| Writers | Darren Lemke (screenplay) and, Christopher McQuarrie (screenplay) … |
| Year | 2013 |
